God made a covenant promise with Abraham, that he would bless him and make him the father of many nations. When Abraham and Sarah did not see this promise being fulfilled according to their perceived timeline, or fathom how God could possibly make this happen given their circumstances, they grew weary of waiting, and decided to act:
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. (Genesis16:1-2; Full story: Genesis 15-17, 21)
This passage reminds me that when humans try to take a good thing into their own hands and do it their way instead of God’s way, we taint it and foul it up. We want it now; we want it our way. Our limited mind cannot comprehend how to get it any other way, so we twist and pervert and try to take it by force. When we don’t wait for his provision, or his timing, or trust that his plan is perfect and will bring the best possible blessing, we take the precious, pellucid diamond of God’s promises in our sin-tainted hands and muddy it.
This is because of our corrupt nature (Rom. 3:10-12); we take good things and mess them up, even in our best intentions. That’s why Isaiah says that all of our righteous deeds are like filthy rags (Isa. 64:6).
But the good news is that God can still bring a blessing out of the things that we muddle up. God’s purposes are good and never fail, and all that he wills he brings about (Ps. 33:4, 11; 115:3).
When things don’t seem to go as fast as we want them to or in the direction that we think God’s plan may be taking us, we need to check our desires to see if they line up with his will. More often than not, we will find that our desires are not the same as his because we are not delighting ourselves in him, but rather looking for satisfaction in other things (Ps. 37:4).
We must remember that God never promises to give us our sinful desires. If the thing we are waiting on goes against God’s clear commands in Scripture, then we can be assured that God never intends for us to have it. Quite the opposite, he desires to rip it away from us in order to make us holy because he loves us.
When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him. (Psalm 39:11)
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. (Hebrews 12:6)
God’s ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isa. 55:9). So when to our eyes, things don’t appear to be panning out for good, the righteous will live by faith (Hab. 2:4); faith in his Word and in his character. God promises it will be worth the wait.
These are all words that describe my mums this spring.
Confession time: I’m a mum-killer.
I have bought several containers of mums each year with dazzling aspirations of planting them and having them return the next fall in vibrant shades of scarlet, goldenrod, and fuchsia.
My first year, as a mum novice, I lugged home the hearty pots brimming with blooms, dug holes, and planted them right then and there. I admired the beautiful fall foliage in my yard and looked forward to seeing them again the next year. Little did I know that fall flowers don’t like to be planted in the fall; they want to be planted in the spring (and spring flowers like to be planted in the fall—plants are funny like that).
The next couple of times I bought mums, I let them run their fall course and left them crusty in their containers all winter only to be pitched in the garbage. One year, I even planned to go all Pinterest on them and spray paint the dead branches silver, hang ornaments on them, and turn my fall-failure into a Christmas win!
But this year, I was determined to make them last! I meticulously picked my favorite hues of mums from my local grocer, and I did my research!
One of the things I learned is that you have to prune them. You have to snip back the dead branches to a certain length if you want beautiful, healthy growth the next year.
Jesus speaks about pruning in John chapter fifteen:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1–2).
We are the branches.
Our pruning often comes about through suffering.
God uses the tragedies, the crises, the losses, and the pain to teach us to depend on him, strengthen our faith in him, and make us more like Jesus.
We may feel like God is taking our fruitfulness away—the loss of a job, the death of a child, a terminal diagnosis—but when God prunes what is already bearing fruit, he does so in order that we would produce more fruit.
As I’m writing this, I’m planning to prune my roses this weekend. Cutting off the dead sections of the stems will actually help them grow even fuller blooms this year. I know it needs to be done, but I’m afraid of making a wrong cut and ruining them. God, however, is a master gardener; he never makes a wrong snip. He knows exactly what needs to be removed from our lives in order to make us grow stronger and lovelier.
Elisabeth Elliot says, “We cannot know Christ and the power of his resurrection without also entering into the fellowship of his suffering.”
With that in mind, we should be thankful for any suffering which comes our way, and instead of fighting God’s chosen portion for us, we should learn to lean into the pain in order to be united in suffering with our crucified King.
In fact, if we are not being pruned, there is something wrong. Those who are his, he prunes; those who are not his, he cuts off to be thrown into the fire. Paul says to the Roman believers, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Romans 8:16–17).
The proof is in the pruning.
That doesn’t make it any less painful.
We may cry out, like the apostle Paul, for God to remove our suffering; we may pray fervently, like our Lord Jesus, for the cup of suffering to pass from us. But if God, in his wisdom, goodness, and love, sovereignly allows the affliction to remain, may we also say as our forerunners did, “[Your] grace is sufficient for [me]” (2 Corinthians 12:9), and “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39).
Elisabeth Elliot quotes lines from a sermon by Ugo Bassi:
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain;
Not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth;
For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice,
And whoso suffers most hath most to give.
There couldn’t be truer words, for the strongest love ever known was proven by the greatest sacrifice ever made. When Jesus Christ gave his life on the cross to save ruined sinners, he loved his own to the uttermost. He went through the greatest suffering imaginable to bring about the greatest joy possible—redeeming a people for his inheritance and the Father’s glory from every nation, tribe, and tongue.
Similarly, our suffering is producing in us an “eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17). When we can see the suffering in our lives as notch marks of growth under God’s expert care, we will be able to accept the hardships with greater peace and joy because they are the assurance that God is still working in us—and he will bring to completion what he began.
Wondering what happened to my mums?
After pruning them and properly storing them over the winter, I planted them in the ground following the final frost of spring. Now I wait with hopeful expectation for bright, new buds to emerge. We’ll just have to see if God provides the growth.
A salvation story doesn’t have to be R-rated to be powerful. We may not all be saved from a life of crime, drugs, or persecuting Christians (like the apostle Paul). Sometimes it is what God protected us from doing that testifies to his glory and grace.
I grew up as an only child in a half-Christian home. My mom was a believer; my dad was not. I can count on one hand the number of times my dad went to church (a last ditch attempt to save his marriage).
My mom took me to whatever flavor of church she was into at the moment. When she was feeling in touch with her Catholic roots, we did our fair share of kneelers, making the sign of the cross, and dabbing ourselves with holy water on our way out the door. I even made my First Communion and baptism (at age seven—I was a latecomer) in the Catholic church and started Confirmation classes. We went to a Lutheran church for a short stretch when she worked at their daycare. We also frequented a non-denominational mega-church with a giant worship band, colored lights, and projector screens.
My mom quoted Bible verses at me and even had Scripture written on her wooden paddle (which she never used). She wrote, “Jesus loves you!” with smiley faces on everything and sang children’s Bible songs to me. I will forever be grateful for her Christian influence in my life that tried to point me in the right direction. It must have been hard for her to stand firm as the lone believer in an abusive marriage.
But even after all of her concerns for me to know about Jesus and taking me to church every week, I was still a rebellious child.
To most, it would have gone unnoticed. I never did any of those outwardly “heinous” sins. I was quiet and reserved, made straight As, and was well behaved in school.
But in my heart I had idols.
I didn’t know what idols of the heart were as a child. But I did know I didn’t like to be told what to do, and I certainly didn’t like being punished for disobeying. I thought it was stupid and unfair. I thought I was always right. I argued with my mom at every turn, trying to prove just how “right” I was. I never backed down.
Unless my dad was around. I never disobeyed or argued in front of him because I was afraid of him and his horrible temper. He never had to spank me because a simple threat was enough to scare me into submission.
My mom, on the other hand, gave up on trying to spank me. Whenever she tried to discipline me in other ways, such as groundings, I would argue or throw a fit until she gave in.
As marriage and abuse issues escalated for my parents, my behavior in school started to not be so “golden.” I would act out for substitute teachers and started hurting other kids. When I did get sent to the principal’s office, I thought every string should be pulled in my favor to get me off the hook instead of owning up to my sin and accepting the consequences.
When my parents finally divorced when I was 13 (after 20 years of marriage), it was just my mom and me. Without that fearful father figure looming in the background, and a mom who let herself be stepped on more than a sidewalk, my rebellious and disrespectful heart was given free reign.
We fought like cats and dogs through my early teen years, acting more like sisters than mother and child. We had horrendous screaming matches filled with “I hate yous” (from me) and slamming doors. I always got my way. And one of those “ways” was to stop going to church.
During that time, the turmoil in my relationship with my mom only increased. We still had screaming matches, but now at times we would shove each other. Often I would shove her all the way back into her room. I even shamefully recall slapping her a couple of times. My rejection of authority was now becoming physical as I tried to exert my will over hers.
In public, you still probably wouldn’t have been able to tell what was going on inside my heart. I was just a “normal” sassy teenager. But because I didn’t party, use substances, or have premarital sex, and did well in school, I was considered a “good” kid. But if my struggle with rejecting authority had been allowed to to reach a boiling point, I’m afraid of what dangerous roads would have lain ahead for me.
By God’s grace, things were about to change.
I started going to church again (separate from my mom) my sophomore year of high school at the invitation of a friend. Providentially, it was the same Baptist church my mom had sent me to for VBS (vacation Bible school) every summer as a young child (of which I had fond memories).
I started attending regularly and got involved in youth group. It was at a Youth Discipleship Weekend where I tuned in to a guest preacher talking about sin. I have no idea who he was, but God used him to bring me under conviction that I was a sinner and needed to get right with God, and that Jesus Christ was the only who could save me from my sins. I repented from my sins that night and turned to Christ.
By God’s grace, I fixed my gaze on Christ and have never looked back. From then on, I was at church any time the doors were open. I became actively involved in youth, service projects, singing in choir and praise band, and volunteering in the church office.
That doesn’t mean that I haven’t sinned since or gone through seasons of depression or apathy. But God has always kept me in the palm of his hand, as his Word promises his children. I have never been in a place of sin where God’s loving, correcting hand hasn’t disciplined me and restored me by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit. In his loving kindness he has always given me the grace to repent and keep trusting him.
God’s sovereign plan for my life involved going to a Baptist university, meeting a young man who was studying to be a pastor, and marrying him. It has involved us having nine children, losing one through miscarriage and one through stillbirth. It has involved homeschooling and moving four times and struggling at different churches.
God has been faithful all of these years. He has protected me from more pains and opportunities to sin than I can probably imagine. He didn’t rescue me out of a life of drugs, sex, or crime, (not for lack of opportunity), but he did protect me from those things.
He did rescue me from the idol of self-rule, wanting to be the “god” of my own heart. Ultimately, that is what God saves us all from. And I am forever grateful to the Savior of my soul.
My kids know I am famous for theologically picking apart songs on the radio.
I’m not trying to be a curmudgeon—I’m trying to make them think, and hopefully have some invigorating and fruitful conversations along the way.
The world shoves so many messages at us which we swallow and digest without even tasting. How do we know if it’s healthy for us?
This is why it’s important to examine our world through the lens of the Bible.
Probably my most well-known lyrical rant is to an 80s tune called “Listen to Your Heart” by Roxette. Inevitably, when the chorus cycles around, Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye, my kids will hear me shout “That’s horrible theology!” with a chuckle and a grin. They know I’m being funny, but also serious. I then go on to explain how our emotions are fickle and can lie to us—our feelings are not necessarily an accurate assessment of our situation—and then I will go on to quote Jeremiah 17:9 at them and ask for their thoughts.
My latest musical musing coincides with an uncharacteristic country music kick. (I’ve never been a fan of country music before—maybe I’m having a midlife musical crisis?) I discovered a new-to-me artist named Cam and fell in love with her voice, although maybe not her theology.
In her song called “Till There’s Nothing Left,” the premise is a woman who doesn’t want to leave her lover until she has expended every ounce of her love on him. There’s a line in the chorus which says:
Praying, ‘God don’t save me’—till there’s nothing left.
The point of the song is she doesn’t want to be rescued from this moment until she has lived it to the fullest.
I found this song around the same time that I watched an evangelism training video at my church. In this video, the evangelist has a witnessing encounter with a young man on an airplane. When asked if he wants to repent and believe in Jesus, the young man responds that he is rather young and hopefully has a lot of life left to live.
He thinks it is a better idea to wait till the end of his life to turn from his sins and ask God for forgiveness; if he repents now, wouldn’t he just mess it up with more sin?
This type of thinking is not abnormal. Many people want to experience life their way, get all their fun and kicks in while they can, and then consider turning from their ungodliness and trusting in Christ at their deathbed, if at all.
Christians are boring, they think. If I become a Christian, I’ll never have any fun.
What is the truth?
Should we wait till there’s nothing left of life to ask God to save us?
Should we expend ourselves pursuing every pleasure imaginable until we run out of time?
Is there wisdom in this?
The wisest man on earth (aside from Jesus Christ) investigated this very thing. He looked at everything people could do while they were alive—working, partying, entertainment, making a name for themselves, building or acquiring property and possessions, drinking alcohol, and all kinds of other pleasures. He came to this conclusion:
And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven. It is an unhappy business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:13–14)
King Solomon had access to endless resources, money, and pleasure, and yet he discovered that even if he owned and experienced everything imaginable, it was all pointless. He concluded the age-old adage long before it became popular—You can’t take it with you. His conclusion came from realizing that every person alive comes to the same end—death.
For of the wise as of the fool there is no enduring remembrance, seeing that in the days to come all will have been long forgotten. How the wise dies just like the fool! So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind. (Ecclesiastes 2:16–17)
If this life was all there is, then death wouldn’t be a problem, and we should just eat, drink, and be merry (Ecclesiastes 9:7). But Solomon understood what every person knows deep down, whether they acknowledge it or not, that “[God] has put eternity into man’s heart” (Ecclesiastes 3:11a).
God made us for more than this moment—our souls were made for eternity. But crossing from this life into the eternal one means we must first face God’s judgment, for “it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment” (Hebrews 9:27), and “God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:14).
Those who have trusted in Jesus Christ and his death on the cross for the forgiveness of their sins will enter into God’s presence in heaven; those who have rejected Jesus Christ as the way to God will “suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might” and be thrown in “the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death” (2 Thessalonians 1:9; Revelation 21:8).
There is obviously eternal value in being a Christian, but is there any benefit in repenting and following Christ this side of heaven?
Should we wait till there’s nothing left of life to turn to Christ?
Should we pray God wouldn’t save us until we’ve done everything we want to do?
What if we repent now but just mess it up with more sin?
Jesus taught there was more than just eternal benefit to following him. He said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
In this passage, Jesus compares us to sheep and himself to a shepherd as well as the door to the sheepfold. He wants us to live life to the fullest, but true fullness and freedom only come from being in him. Satan is the thief who doesn’t want us to enter Christ’s sheepfold and taste the grass there. He wants us to believe that Jesus is not a good shepherd and that we can find greener pastures if we live outside of God’s “fences.”
While we may think we are enjoying the good things of life by not being bogged down by rules and religion, the Bible teaches that the greatest fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy come from knowing and following God in this life, not just the one to come.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalms 16:11
While there is grace and forgiveness available to anyone at any time for those who call on the name of the Lord for salvation, tomorrow is not promised. We do not know when we will die or when Jesus will return. If we do not turn from our sins now, tomorrow may be too late.
And yes, even if we repent and trust in Christ, we will still sin in this life. But Jesus died so that all our sins—past, present, and future—would be paid for and we could live in peace with God. Part of experiencing this life to the fullest comes from living free of the guilt and shame our sin makes us feel, and we can only do that if we have experienced forgiveness and pardon in Christ.
The previous blog was originally published at Lifeword.org
The Christian life is about community. It’s about fellowship. It’s about being one Body. To do this you have to be willing to be open and vulnerable. To let people in and get to know you. You have to share your struggles and burdens.
Sometimes it can be easier to be the sympathetic ear than to let people into your life. But if you are always the “personal prayer warrior” and never the “prayed for,” there’s a problem.
Here are five dangers of not asking others to pray for you:
1. No one may know you are struggling.
Even in our knowledge-driven society where Google and Alexa can find out anything we want to know, we are still not able to be mind readers. And if we don’t know you are struggling, we can’t minister to your need.
This goes for “unspoken” prayer requests too. I know in some situations, details must be hidden to protect people, but those times are few and far between. Let your church family and friends know what is going on so they can pray more specifically for you and be able to better help you.
2. People may think you have it all together (or that you think you have it all together).
I have to admit that it’s kind of hard to maintain a relationship with someone who never appears to struggle or need a shoulder to cry on. We all have problems. None of us is self-sufficient like God, never having any needs. There is no human being who doesn’t go through trials and hardships or just have a bad day. So to give off the appearance that you don’t need help from anyone is unrealistic and makes you seem unrelatable.
Friendships become unbalanced when prayer requests are one-sided. It can make the friend who is opening up feel like the giant wart on the body of Christ—like they are the only one who ever has problems or struggles with sin. It can also make relationships fall flat by causing the other person to feel like you don’t value them enough to be open with them.
3. You rob people of the blessing of being a partner in the Holy Spirit’s work in your life.
Although God does not need us in order to do his work, he graciously allows us to join him in what he is doing. One of those ways is through prayer. It is an immense privilege and blessing to get to pray for my friends and church family! It is so awesome to pray for a specific need and then see God work—to know that God hears you and that your friend is being blessed and helped! The Bible tells Christians to bear one another’s burdens and your friends long to do that for you!
4. You miss out on the power of other people’s prayers in your life.
James says that “the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16), so the more Christian friends you have praying for you the better!
5. You rob God of receiving praise and thanksgiving.
When I get the honor of praying for someone and then the blessing of seeing it answered, I am immediately praising God for it!
Paul writes to the Corinthian believers that they must help him by praying for him so that many will give thanks to God for the blessing he received through their prayers (2 Corinthians 1:11). When others get to pray for you, God gets all the glory!!
And that is the most excellent reason to ask for prayer!
What would you give up in order to gain your life?
In the movie Wonder Woman 1984, Diana (aka Wonder Woman) makes a wish on an ancient artifact, the Dreamstone, which is said to grant the holder whatever they desire. Diana’s wish is to have her old flame, Steve, brought back to her from the dead. Her wish comes true, and it doesn’t disappoint. It brings her incredible happiness; life seems wonderful and complete. It’s everything she could have hoped for.
But later in the movie, something odd starts to happen. Wonder Woman starts to notice her powers declining. Where once she could push tanks with the power of her legs, now she struggles to not be crushed by them. Where once she had the speed to dodge bullets, now they are grazing her shoulder and wounding her.
There comes a scene near the end of the movie where she realizes that her wish is holding her back, causing her to quickly lose her power. Diana and Steve both realize that she must let him go—renounce her wish. But Diana doesn’t want to. She knows it is the right thing to do (she has a world to save after all), and she knows that if she doesn’t, she will be useless. Her wish will slowly kill her or get her killed. But the choice is still one of the hardest she has ever had to make.
The audience can see the intense internal struggle Diana has as she mourns the thought of letting him go, never seeing him again, never loving again. After giving him one more kiss, she reluctantly makes her choice and turns to go. They both declare they will always love each other, and then she says these turning-point words: “I renounce my wish.”
A guttural scream erupts from the tsunami of emotions and pain she is battling inside as she begins to run with all her might in the opposite direction of her love. It is only then that her bloody wounds start to heal, as she picks up immense speed and lassos herself into the sky. It is only then that she learns how to fly.
What about you and me? What is holding us back from living out our fullest potential in Christ? What is keeping us from having the fruitful, abundant, and sanctified life God has called us to?
Is there something we have wished for, longed for, or obtained that has taken God’s place in our hearts—that we want more than God himself? Is there a sin we are so entangled in, that brings us so much pleasure that we are not willing to give it up for God?
Jesus is clear about this in the gospel of Mark:
“And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?’” (Mark 8:34-37, emphasis added)
What will we gain from the things of this world we won’t let go of? Momentary pleasure? Worldly wealth? Finite fame? What does the Bible say we will lose if we don’t release our grip on it? Our very souls.
Friends, there can be nothing in this whole world that is worth losing your soul—spending an eternity in hell under the just and deserved wrath of God. We must be willing to forsake all in order to gain Christ and be found in him when he returns or we take our last breath, whichever comes first.
Christ said we must deny ourselves in order to follow him, whether it be denying ourselves of “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, [or] things like these” (Galatians 5:19-21a), as Paul spoke. Paul continues, “I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:21b). If we are not willing to forsake the things that keep us from Christ, then we are in very grave danger.
This may sound extreme. How is a little sin going to hurt us so much? In Diana’s case, wasn’t she just wanting love? There’s nothing bad about that, right?
Obviously, it is a movie, so our analogy breaks down. But the point is that anything we desire with our whole being, that impacts every decision we make, that turns the course of our days, that sucks up all our time, energy, money, health, or thoughts is something that keeps our eyes off God and keeps us from worshipping and serving him rightly. It is an idol—something we want more than God and have allowed to take the place of God in our life.
Whenever we cling to the things of this world, we cannot be fruitful. Our sin holds us back. Our sin drains us of strength. Our sin is slowly killing us.
Psalm 1 paints the picture of the person not entangled in sin being like a tree firmly planted by abundant streams of water. We can imagine the contrast of someone who is entrapped by their sin—they are withering, barren. Not only do their branches not bear fruit, they are rotting and wasting away. If they continue along this trajectory, they may find that they were never truly planted near the Fountain of Living Water and never had the spring of eternal life welling up inside of them (John 4:14).
Christ is clear about anything that puts us in that kind of position:
“And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’” (Mark 9:43-48)
Will forsaking our sin hurt? Yes. But it is supposed to hurt. Christ compares it to the pain of ripping out an eye or amputating a limb. There will be blood; it will be messy; you will feel like you are not okay. It may be one of the hardest things you have ever done. But do not despair—although the pain is not abnormal, Christ promises it will not be more than you can bear as long as he is the one holding you up (2 Corinthians 12:9), and that the pain will not compare to the eternal weight of glory being produced in us (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Christ also promises that anyone who leaves houses or lands or families for his sake will gain “a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:30). If we forsake all we have, all that we hold dear, in order to gain Christ, not only will we experience his blessing in this life and be fruitful, but we will gain eternal life in heaven, where there will be no more crying, death, or pain, but “God himself will be with them as their God” (Revelation 21:3).
The apostle Paul testified to the surpassing worth of forsaking all for Christ:
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, . . . that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:7-9a, 11)
When we are not willing to forsake what we consider gain in this world for having Christ, it is like choosing to play in mud huts made of manure when we could be living in gold palaces.
What about you? Do you see the surpassing worth of Christ? Is he more valuable to you than anything else in this world? Would you sell the field in order to gain the pearl of great price?
Could you throw everything else out like filthy garbage in order to gain Christ and be found in him on the last day? Could you run away from it at breakneck speed and never look back? Would you do whatever it takes to obtain the “resurrection from the dead”?
If not, I ask you: Why? What is holding you back? What do you have such a tight grip on in this world (or what has such a tight grip on you) that Christ is not worth releasing it for? What do you need to forsake in order to gain Christ and live fully for him? I pray that you would not lose your life in the world to come because you wanted to save the life you have in this world.
I have always struggled with my tongue. From arguing to sarcasm to sharp, cutting words. I have memorized and meditated on verses about the tongue and our words. I have highlighted all the Bible verses I can find about it in blinding neon yellow! I have even hung them as warning signs around my home, disguised as trendy art.
Verses like the following:
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
But I have still struggled.
And now, to my sorrow and chagrin, my seven kids have picked up the habit.
I have prayed for peace in our home and for us to speak kind words to each other.
I have prayed for gracious words that bring healing instead of those that cut and tear down.
Yet somehow there always seemed to be a disconnect from my head to my heart. These proverbs were not becoming my pragmatism.
But one of our family devotions really sealed the deal for me. We were talking about James 3 (a passage I have poured over because it’s the king of passages on the tongue). We talked about how a horse is controlled by a tiny bit and a ship by a small rudder. Likewise, we are controlled by our tongues, a very small member of our bodies.
We talked about how our tongue is a fire and how much damage our words or even our tone can cause. James says that one little spark can set a whole forest on fire.
My husband said, “When we speak unkind words to each other it’s like our house is on fire.”
Finally! An image that matched the head-spinning, suffocating panic I felt in my heart when there was bickering and yelling going on—either with us and the kids, or between the kids! I could actually picture enormous orange flames surrounding us in the house while bright red sirens were spinning and flashing!
I have often said that I feel like I spend my days putting out fires among my kids and now it made sense! Now I wondered how many fires one house could survive.
My husband then left us with this thought:
“Before we say something, we should ask ourselves, Is this going to start a fire?”
This is what we have been using now when someone starts to raise his or her voice, speak harshly, name call, or start a fight. Sometimes I ask it of myself internally. Sometimes my husband or I just say the word fire to lovingly warn the children that they are starting to speak in an unkind way.
After only a day of doing this, the kids were already catching on. If I gave them a warning look or said their name, some would reply in a jokingly annoyed way, “Mommy, don’t say fire.”
But I’m going to keep saying it because maybe it will annoy them just enough to remember it. I am hoping this will be one of those “parent-isms” they will fondly recall when they are adults, because we said it so often and because it worked.
The tongue is a restless evil. Who can tame it? Thanks be to God who has given us his power through the Holy Spirit to put out the “fires” in our home and even to prevent them before they begin.
Many of us have cried out something similar to this in a time of distress or uncertainty. We can relate to king David when he prayed, “Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray,” (Psalms 5:1–2)!
If we are honest though, there are also probably times we have wondered, Does God really hear me when I pray? And if he does, how can we be sure?
God hears everything, even our thoughts in private prayers, because he knows everything and is everywhere—he is omniscient and omnipresent. Jesus said that our heavenly Father knows what we need before we even ask him (Matthew 6:8), and David concurs that God knows all our thoughts from afar (Psalm 139:2).
So, yes, God hears us in the sense that he is cognitively aware of what we are praying. But many of us want to know if he hears us in the sense that he responds, or acts, when we pray. We want to know if God is going to give us what we ask for.
The Bible says if we pray according to God’s will, he hears us, and we can be sure we will receive the things for which we ask.
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him” (1 John 5:14–15).
So, how can we know God’s will? Many of us are guilty of trying to decipher the will of God as if we were playing a game of Magic 8 Ball—you shake the ball, ask a question, and the mystical blue liquid reveals a Yes, No, Maybe, or the ever-dreaded Try Again. However, God’s will is not an ambiguous guessing game or a grasping of straws—it can be found plainly in God’s Word.
First Thessalonians 4:3 straightforwardly says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.” And again, in 5:16–18 it says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Also, anytime we are given a command in Scripture, we can be assured it is God’s will for us. In this realm, we have the Ten Commandments, imperatives such as “flee from sexual immorality” (Romans 6:18) and “do not be anxious” (Philippians 4:6), and being subject to governing authorities (1 Peter 2:13–15).
If we pray along these lines—Lord, help me to flee from sexual immorality; Lord, help me to listen to my boss about how he wants this project done even though I don’t agree with him; Lord, make me more like Christ—then we know God will respond favorably to our prayers.
However, there are times when God will not listen to our prayers or respond positively to them.
Our sin can become a barrier to God hearing our prayers. The prophet Isaish spoke of a time like this:
Behold, the LORD’S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. Isaiah 59:1–2
We do not cause God to become physically hard of hearing or less omniscient, rather he does not hear refers to God not giving his help or rescue, or not acquiescing to our requests.
When we cherish sin in our hearts and allow ourselves to be immersed in it, we are clearly demonstrating that we only want God as our genie—a cosmic vending machine—and we value our sin over obeying him. When our hearts are in this condition, we should not think that God will listen to our prayers. As Bible commentator Matthew Henry said, “We cannot expect that he should countenance us while we go on to affront him.” A countenance refers to someone’s face or facial expression. Used in this sense, it refers to God looking upon us with favor.
God does not look at sin favorably, nor can he. God is holy by definition of his very nature, so necessarily, he must hate sin; it is in opposition to his character. When his children sin (those who have turned from their sins and trusted in Christ for salvation), there no longer remains any punishment for sin because Christ took that punishment onto himself when he died on the cross. However, God does not reward sin. If we are asking for things through prayer while at the same time harboring unrepentant sin, we often ask wrongly to spend it on our own passions (James 4:3). God will not be party to helping us further our sinfulness.
Other times that Jesus says God may not listen to our prayers are when we pray just to been seen and thought well of by others, or when we use big words or phrases (or popular Christian lingo with no meaning behind it) just to sound intelligent or spiritual (Matthew 6:5–8).
But when we pray the way Jesus modeled to his disciples in the Lord’s Prayer with a reverent, obedient, humble, repentant heart that acknowledges our reliance on God and a desire for his glory and our holiness, God will hear us from heaven and give us grace.
And when we don’t know what to say, we can be comforted by the fact that the Holy Spirit understands our hearts and perfectly prays for us according to God’s will:
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26–27
The previous article was originally published at Lifeword.org
There she sat alone by the water. Given to a man, by no choice of her own, only to be used as part of a selfish plan. She received no protection or provision that normally comes from a union like this. She wasn’t loved. She wasn’t cherished. She wasn’t cared for.
She was despised. Sure, she had been spiteful. But nobody could see the hurt she was going through.
She was cast aside like something worthless. Hated by her mistress. Ignored by the man whom she had been given to as a wife. So she ran away.
Now she sat there, crying out her heartache through hot tears. She felt so alone. There was no one she could talk to about this. There was no one who would understand. Until unexpectedly, someone showed up.
In case you didn’t already figure it out, this is the story of Hagar in Genesis chapter 16. God had promised Abram and Sarai offspring, but as of yet Sarai was still barren. Instead of waiting on the Lord, they decided to take matters into their own hands and “help” God out. Whether Hagar went along with it willingly or not, the Bible doesn’t say.
The story above was this author’s imagining of some of the emotions and thoughts that may have been going through her head.
Now let’s look at the rest of the story. The one who shows up next to her by the spring of water in the wilderness is the angel of the Lord. This is most likely a pre-incarnate Christ because he makes a promise to Hagar that only God could make, and because later she calls him God.
He asks her where she has come from and where she is going, to which she replies that she is fleeing from her mistress, Sarai. Then the angel of the Lord tells her to return to Sarai and submit to her, and that he is going to give her so many offspring that they will not be able to be numbered.
Then we read these beautiful words that should comfort the heart of every believer:
“So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have seen him who looks after me’” (Genesis 16:13).
“You are a God of seeing” could also be translated “You are a God who sees me.” And that couldn’t be truer.
In all of Hagar’s hurt, in all of her broken relationships, in all of the degradation, isolation, and sin, God saw her and looked after her.
Maybe you are not in a strange relationship triangle like Hagar. But can you relate? Have you ever felt like you were all alone in a situation? That no one could see or understand the hurt you were going through? That you had no one to talk to? Have you ever felt isolated by pain?
Maybe it is physical pain. Do you live every day of your life with a physical ailment or illness that nobody seems to understand?
Maybe people have ignored you so much when you tell them you’re hurting that you’ve just stopped trying.
Maybe you don’t want to seem to be complaining so you stay silent.
Maybe no one sees that every day is a struggle to get out of bed and get going, or to get from point A to point B.
God sees you and knows your pain. He cares.
Maybe it is emotional pain.
Maybe you live in a troubled home and nobody sees the fights you witness between your parents.
Maybe you feel isolated, lonely, or even bullied at school.
Maybe you’ve witnessed some really destructive behavior by someone you love, and you go to your room to try and pretend you’re somewhere else.
Maybe you’ve felt so low that you’ve thought about taking your own life.
God sees you and knows your pain. He loves you. He is right there beside you, and not a single one of your tears goes unnoticed (Psalm 56:8). You are not alone.
Maybe you have a scar from your past.
Maybe someone dealt harshly with you.
Maybe someone committed a heinous abuse or sin against you. Maybe you were abandoned by parents or a spouse.
Maybe you have a sinful mistake you are trying to hide from, such as an affair, an abortion, or an addiction.
Whatever your past hurt is, know that God sees you and he cares. You can run to him as your Abba Father—your perfect and loving daddy (even if your earthly father was anything but). You can come to Jesus as your brother and friend.
If it is a sinful past you are running from, know that God wants you to repent. Just like the angel of the Lord commanded Hagar, God wants you to return to your master, Christ Jesus, and submit to his lordship over your life. And just like the father of the prodigal son in chapter 15 of Luke, when you repent, Jesus runs to you with open arms, bursting with love, kindness, mercy, and grace. He is ready to take you back. He longs to place his signet ring and robe on you to signify that you are his child and to celebrate your return!
Beloved, no matter what hurt you are haunted by, no matter how many days or months or years of tears you have shed, no matter how isolated and alone you feel, God sees you. Not only does he see you, he cares about you. He looks after you. He is right there beside you holding you under the protection of his wing as you weep, as you agonize, as you silently scream out your heartache (Psalm 91:4). He loves you.
Just as the psalmist said, there is no place we can go where God is not there or where he cannot see us (Psalm 139:1–10). Beloved, won’t you find comfort in knowing that God is a God who sees you?
The previous blog was originally published at Lifeword.org
We’ve probably all read the most popular verses on anxiety:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)
Maybe we’ve even written them on notecards to carry around in our pockets. Or posted them to our bathroom mirrors on sticky notes.
These passages are excellent (after all, they are the inspired Word of God) and helpful to use in our battle against anxiety. But too often I have isolated those texts and made them into a law in my mind.
I knew the Bible said I wasn’t supposed to be anxious, so it became another set of dos and don’ts. If I could check it off my list and say, “Ok, I wasn’t anxious today,” then I had done well. If I broke the rule and had anxious thoughts, I would give myself a mental slap on the wrist and think, “Man! I need to do better tomorrow!”
This way of thinking only caused me to be anxious about having anxiety! When I would lie down at night or wake up in the morning (my most typical times for anxious thoughts) I would start to dread getting anxious. Which, of course, meant that now I was anxious! I had begun to fear the fear! It became a vicious spiral.
Maybe you have done the same. So how do you get out of it?
I could give you “seven steps” or “ten tips” on how to overcome anxiety. But I won’t. I’m only going to give you one.
Trust God.
Does that seem too simplistic? Too cliché? Too much of a “Sunday school” answer?
I say it because it is practically and theologically the best answer I could give you.
Anxiety stems from not trusting God’s character and promises.
Some may think I am being too audacious or judgmental by telling people they don’t trust God. It is not meant to be a spiritual slam. And remember, I am including myself in this.
Let’s truly think about this. What do we worry about? Money, health, marriages, children, family, jobs, provision, what people think about us, messing up, getting hurt, dying . . . the list could go on.
But if we trust that God is who he says he is —good, loving, kind, sovereign, true, wise, all-knowing, all-powerful, just, unchangeable, holy—and that because his character never changes, he always keeps his promises and has the power to carry them out, then what do we really have to fear?
Let’s take just a couple of those examples:
Let’s say you are worried about losing your job and therefore not having enough money to provide for your family.
If you trust that God is good and kind and loving, you will trust that he wants to take care of you and your family.
If you trust that God is truthful, unchangeable, and all-powerful, you will trust that he will keep his promise to provide for your needs (Matt. 6).
If you trust that God is wise, all-knowing, and just, you will trust that he knows what is best for you, already knows and has a plan for your future, and will always do what is right and fair.
Next, let’s take the fear of dying.
If you trust that God is sovereign and all-powerful, then you trust that he has the ability to protect you.
If you trust that God is good, loving, wise and holy, then you will trust that if, in his sovereign, perfect wisdom, he has ordained that it is your time to die, it will only be for your ultimate good and his glory when he brings you to his loving side.
When we trust that God is in control of every situation, and not only in control, but ordained every single one of our days for us (Psalm 139:16), and we also know the goodness and holiness of his character, then there is absolutely nothing in our lives that should cause us to fear, worry, or be anxious.
Let’s look at a man who exemplified this in his life.
If any of you have ever lost sleep because of anxiety, you know it is no joke! David had plenty of reason to lose sleep from anxiety! In 2 Samuel 15 we read that his own son was usurping his throne and was now seeking David’s life! The setting of Psalm 3 is David hiding in a cave because at any suspenseful moment, his son, Absalom, might show up and kill him!
And yet in verse 5 of the third Psalm, David says, “I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.”
I have lost sleep over much smaller things! I can’t imagine trying to sleep if I was literally afraid for my life!
So how was David able to sleep?
He trusted God.
He knew that not only was God his shield and protector, but that God also sovereignly controls all things for his glory, which is also what is best for us.
If God wanted David to live, he would ensure his safety by his omnipotence.
If it was God’s will for him to die, then David trusted that even in his death, God would be glorified and it would be for his ultimate good.
David trusted in a God of infinite wisdom, love, goodness, holiness, and power who always carries out the best possible course of action as he writes the pages of his redemptive plan—what we would call “history.”
What about you? Are you trusting in the good and sovereign God of the universe to write out your story? Can you, with David, say, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8)?
The previous blog was originally published at Lifeword.org
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