Our Sins, His Good

God weaves all our failings and mistakes into the grander scheme of his overall purpose.

When David was a young king, God made a covenant with him—to make David’s name great, give him rest from his enemies, and build him a house. God promised to raise up David’s offspring and establish his kingdom forever (2 Samuel 7:8–16). In our humanness, we might like to say that all these promises were fulfilled because David was so faithful to God and loved and served him with his whole heart as long as he lived. We could read many of the psalms and certainly see David’s passion for God. We may know him by his God-given title “man after God’s own heart.”

But if we know David’s deeper life-story, we know he wasn’t perfect. He had many moral failings and personal shortcomings. He stole another man’s wife, got her pregnant, and then had the man murdered to cover things up. He sat idly by after one of his sons violated his daughter. David sinned just like the rest of us. He was anything but blameless.

And yet we find God using a man guilty of adultery, murder, and more to fulfill his covenant and establish an everlasting throne from his line. David had many sons and daughters. But it was the son from David and Bathsheba’s second union whom God chose to build him a house. And it was through the lineage of this son, Solomon, that God chose to send the Messiah—his forever king.

God is faithful to his promises to the end. There is no sin, no mistake, no failure of ours that can thwart God’s plan—his plan for our lives and his redemptive plan for the whole world. In fact, God loves to use broken people with dirty pasts as part of his greater purpose. He is in the business of changing lives.

He uses murderers (Moses, David), liars (Abraham, Jacob), prostitutes (Rahab), adulterers (David), thieves (Matthew), persecutors of the church (Paul) and puts them on display—not to parade their sins but to demonstrate his marvelous mercy through lives changed by his matchless grace.  

This is why David could say:  

The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD
and have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all his rules were before me,
and from his statutes I did not turn aside.
I was blameless before him,
and I kept myself from guilt.
And the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to my cleanness in his sight. (2 Samuel 22:21–25)

Although David was deeply aware of his sin, even to the point of depression (Psalm 32, 38), David knew that when God looked at him, God saw a righteous man with clean hands. How could this be?

It wasn’t because of David’s righteousness; David knew he was made righteous by faith in God’s coming Messiah, the one promised since Genesis 3 and who’s advent was planned before the foundation of the world. David knew it was not the cleanness of his hands, but the cleanness of another who would take his place by dying on a cross. He knew that by faith in this coming Savior, his sins were washed away.

God’s plan for David’s life was bigger than David’s mistakes. And so is his plan for us. Our sins can’t foul it up, wipe it away, or make it null and void.

If you have made mistakes, if your burden of sin is too great for you to bear, look to Christ, repent, and find forgiveness there. He is not finished with you yet.

“But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:1–2).

This article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/our-sins-his-good/

Letters to My Children: Pornography

To My Children:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it. And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. Proverbs 5:1–14

I am writing this to you because I love you. I want you to have a life filled with joy and satisfaction, but I want to warn you of danger. Looking at pornography only leads down a path of destruction—of joyless, empty discontentment. If you follow this path, it will ultimately lead you to death. These things give you momentary pleasure—a quick high that goes away almost as quickly and only leaves you unsatisfied, wanting more. This is an endless void. Trying to fill up your desires with sexual pleasures is like trying to fill a black hole in space—there is nothing you can throw at it that will ever be enough. You will only feel more and more empty, depressed, and maybe even self-hatred.

Jesus tells us that he is the only thing that will ever truly satisfy us—knowing him, having his love, having our sins forgiven, and loving him in return. Following him is the only way to fully and truly enjoy this life, for Psalm 16:11 says there is fulness of joy in his presence and everlasting pleasures at his right hand, and Psalm 63:3 says his love is better than life.

Don’t waste your life on that which does not satisfy. Jesus says to come to him and have all that your heart desires fulfilled in him instead of spending all your time and energy on things that don’t satisfy.

Furthermore, the women or men in those pictures are not objects. They are people, made in the image of God. They were not put here for your own personal pleasure. They may be treating themselves poorly by doing these things, but if you participate in them, you are treating them as worthless pieces of trash instead of God’s valuable image bearers. Some of these people are forced into this kind of behavior as slaves of sex traffickers—people who have kidnapped them and forced them to do these things. If you participate in pornography, you are feeding this wicked industry that harms human beings.

It may be hard to imagine your future, but it is important to think about how participating in this sin will affect your life later. The man or woman you decide to marry will be hurt by this sin in your life. It will be painful and damaging to them to know that you have been looking at other people instead of saving yourself solely for them. If they are a godly person (and I pray they are), they will not tolerate this sin in your life.

I plead with you not to go down this path. The apostle Paul warns us to flee from sexual immorality because our bodies are God’s temple and we belong to him (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

If you have stumbled, flee from it now. The longer you are entangled in this trap of sin, the harder it is to get out. With God’s grace, it is not impossible, but the battle is a difficult one. Repent and turn to Christ that you may live a truly free and satisfying life. His Word says he can provide escape from every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13), and that if you confess your sins to him, he is always faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us (1 John 1:9).

I love you. Grow in godliness and in your love for God.

This article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/letters-to-my-children-pornography/

Letters to My Children: When to Date (Part 2)

To My Children:

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases. Song of Solomon 8:4

You are wondering when you might be ready to start dating. Although there is no set time, and I do not have an official age when you can begin, I would still say you are not ready if you have not matured in three different areas.

First, there is physical maturity. Very simply, this means your age. In most of the United States, you cannot legally marry until age eighteen (in some states you must be even older!). Some states will allow sixteen- or seventeen-year-olds to marry with parental consent, but many states have outlawed the marriage of minors. If you are eleven, twelve, even fifteen or sixteen, it is simply not reasonable to say you would be able to get married soon in our culture. And if you are not close to being of age to marry, there is no reason for you to date, as I wrote in my first letter.

Second, there is practical maturity. If you were to get married soon, or even just live on your own, would you be able to do the things necessary to care for yourself and your household? Do you make enough money to pay for your food, housing, utilities, phone, insurance, vehicle, gas, clothing, and household necessities? Do you know how to make a budget and stick to it? Can you make basic meals? Do you know how to do dishes, laundry, and generally clean up after yourself? Or are your parents still having to tell you to clean your room or do your laundry (or even worse, are they still doing your laundry for you)? Until you are able to do these basic things of adulthood, you are not ready to begin a dating relationship.

And lastly, but probably most importantly, there is spiritual maturity. Have you taken ownership of your relationship with God instead of hanging by the coattails of your parent’s faith? This would look like not leaning on your parents to tell you to read your Bible or pray but being proactive and disciplined in your private devotional life; it would look like not going to church or volunteering just because your parents make you but attending Bible studies and fellowship opportunities and serving in ministries with a joyful, willing attitude. You do not have to be perfect or legalistic in these areas, but are you taking initiative and responsibility with these things?

Are you making wise choices on your own, or do you still need a pedagogue? In ancient Roman culture, a pedagogue was someone charged with the task of making sure a young boy did what he was supposed to do, went where he was supposed to go, and made wise moral choices along the way. He would essentially teach the boy discipline, good manners, and keep him out of trouble until he became an adult. If you still need someone telling you to do what is right and babysitting your moral decisions, then you are not spiritually mature enough to begin a dating relationship.

And finally, by way of spiritual maturity, how do you view the opposite sex? Do you treat young men as brothers and young women as sisters, in all purity? Do you see them the way the Bible describes them, as co-heirs of the grace of life and image-bearers of the holy God, or are they just a pretty face or a handsome body—someone to satisfy your desire for pleasure or boost your ego or sense of security? Boys, are you ready to love one woman for the rest of your life as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her? Girls, are you ready to belong to one man and submit to him willingly and joyfully the way the church submits to Christ?

Marriage is a picture of the gospel, and until you see it as such—that its main purpose is not to gratify your desires or even meet your needs, but that you are laying down your will for the good of another—then, my dear children, it is not the right time to date.

I love you. Grow in godliness and in your love for God.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/letters-to-my-children-when-to-date-part-2/

 

Letters to My Children: When to Date (Part 1)

To My Children:

You are entering the age where you are wondering if it’s okay for you to start dating. Many parents will not have this conversation with their kids; they will just assume it is right for their child to start dating when their child becomes interested in the opposite sex. That could be as early as nine or ten years old (although I’ve seen children acting as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” at an even younger age—scary, I know!). The Bible, however, paints a different picture. In fact, the Bible adjures us in the Song of Solomon to “not awaken love until it pleases,” or until the time is right. So when is it the right time?

To figure this out, we have to ask some questions. First: Are you at a point in life where you could feasibly get married soon?

Why do I say married? Weren’t we just talking about dating?

The Bible gives four categories of major relationships. There are marital relationships—a marriage between a man and a woman; there are familial relationships—relationships within a family, like parent and child, or uncle and nephew; there are friendships; and then there are authoritative relationships—such as a boss and their employee, or governing authorities like mayors and police officers.

There are no notions of dating relationships in the Bible—casually hanging out unsupervised and sharing physical affection without a legally binding commitment to one another. That type of relationship is a perversion of one of the biblical relationships, taking them outside of their God-given boundaries—either of friendship by taking it too far, or of marriage by not moving the emotional and physical affections into the committed, safe-haven of marriage. God would simply call both of these perversions sexual immorality. It is simply playing pretend—doing the activities and reaping some of the benefits of a married couple but forsaking the responsibilities and vows that come with marriage—while living in sin.

The apostle Paul says you are either single (and live a life dedicated to serving the Lord) or married. There is no gray area in between. Now obviously our social customs are not the same as those of the first century—our idea of engagement is about as close as we get to their idea of betrothal, but engagement in our day is not legally binding, requiring a divorce to annul it.

So how should you get to know someone to see if you should marry them if it is not by dating? What I think flows logically from the types of relationships in the Bible is something I will call friendship with purposeful intent. That means being friends with someone with the expressed intent of finding out if this person should be our future spouse. Some people might call this courtship, but that word has a lot of negative baggage. However, the wording is not as important as the biblical picture.

So back to the first question: Are you at a point in life where you could feasibly get married soon?

Why do I say soon?

Paul warns about temptations to sexual immorality. In fact, that’s one of the reasons he gives for people to get married instead of remaining single in 1 Corinthians 7. The longer the dating or engagement period is prolonged, the higher the temptation grows to become physically intimate with each other. You are naturally attracted to the person, and rightly so—God made you with the ability to have those feelings, but those feelings are not supposed to be acted on until marriage. Dating for four to five years, even two or three, can become very dangerous when you are trying to resist temptation and maintain sexual purity.

Think on these things for now. We will investigate the when furtherin my next letter, dear children.

I love you. Grow in godliness and in your love for God.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/letters-to-my-children-when-to-date-part-1/

Turn Back

Remember these things, O Jacob,
and Israel, for you are my servant;
I formed you; you are my servant;
O Israel, you will not be forgotten by me.
I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud
and your sins like mist;
return to me, for I have redeemed you. (Isaiah 44:21–22)

 

Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus . . . (Acts 3:19–20)

 

Sometimes our life choices take us down the road of sin. In fact, the path of sin we’ve traveled may be so long, winding, and treacherous that it feels like there is no hope of ever hiking our way out. And yet the Lord calls us to turn back to him.

The Lord wants us to return to him because we are his.

“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:19b–20).

If our dog runs away, we want it to come home. We put our name and number on our luggage tag because we want our suitcase returned to us if something happens to it. If an item is missing from our grocery order, we want the employee to give us our food. Why? Because it belongs to us; we paid for it. It’s ours, and we have the right to possess it. These comparisons are not used to cheapen Christ’s sacrifice but simply because they are things we can understand.

We need to return to God because he has redeemed us; Christ paid for us with his blood when he died on the cross for our sins. We belong to him. We have no right to go our own way when he has told us the way we ought to live. We are not our own.

The Lord wants us to return to him because he has blotted out our transgressions and because he will still blot out our transgressions.

“I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you” (Isaiah 44:22); “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19, emphasis added).

God has already blotted out our sins through Jesus’ death on the cross. He says they are blotted out like a cloud or a mist—something that is here for a moment and then evaporates so quickly that it’s not remembered. He will not hold our sins against us. In fact, we can be confident of this because he says, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more” (Hebrews 10:17).

This means we know we can come to him without hiding, without shame, without trying to cover our nakedness with “fig leaves,” but with full confidence that when we return, he will receive us like the prodigal son’s father—with a robe, a signet ring, and a celebration. He will receive us because we have been bought, we have been cleansed, and we have been covered with Christ’s blood.

We should also return to him so that we can receive forgiveness in this moment, knowing our sin has already been paid for and that Scripture says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

The Lord wants us to return to him so that we will receive times of refreshing from his presence.

The book of James says, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God” (James 4:6–7).

When you turn back to God, there is a humbling of yourself as you must admit you were wrong, acknowledge that God’s ways are right, and then submit yourself to him by living according to his righteous ways.

When we draw near to God, we will experience the blessing of his presence—his favor, his smiling countenance—and be refreshed by it. But we must come in repentance by cleansing our hands and purifying our hearts if we want to enjoy this refreshing.

God will never forget us—much like we won’t forget about the thing which belongs to us that we want back. He “will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground” (Isaiah 44:3a). But we must come to him with a humble heart, a broken and contrite spirit.

The Lord wants us to repent so that Jesus will return.

“Repent therefore, and turn back . . . that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago” (Acts 3:19a, 20b–21).

If you have never repented of your sins and turned to God, he is waiting for you. God doesn’t tarry Christ’s return because he is slow or there’s an accidental delay in the plan. He is waiting so that all who will believe in him may come to repentance and faith in his Son, Jesus Christ. “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). Likewise, Christ said he would not return until the gospel had been preached to every nation (Mark 13:10; Matthew 24:14).

But do not delay. Today is the day of repentance. “The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead” (Acts 17:30–31). We do not know when Jesus will return, but we know that “the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed” (2 Peter 3:10).

When Christ comes back, he will not come to pay for sins (for he has already done the work required for salvation), but he will come to judge. He will expose all our deeds as we stand before his throne, and anyone who has not repented and placed their faith in Christ—whose name is not written in the Book of Life—will be thrown into the lake of fire, which is the second death, or hell (Revelation 20:12–15).

So turn back to the Lord while there is still time. Turn back to the Lord so you may receive mercy and grace and have your sins blotted out. Turn back to him and experience refreshment for your soul. Turn back to him because you are his and he loves you.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/turn-back/

Letters to My Children: Facing Disappointment

To My Children:

It’s easy to think that God’s blessing and favor means giving us everything we ask for. When we don’t get what we want, we’re tempted to think God doesn’t love us. This thought bleeds into our other relationships. If our parents don’t take us to the concert everyone else is going to, they don’t love us. If our friends don’t pay attention to our new outfit or invite us to their party, they don’t love us. If our teacher doesn’t let us hand in our assignment two weeks late, they don’t like us.

Right now, your disappointments are small—your parents not allowing you to be on the cheerleading squad, not getting the spot on the sports team or the part in the play, or not being picked for class president. As you get older, the disappointments will come on a larger scale—getting outbid for your dream house, getting passed over for the promotion at work, watching the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with marry someone else, or longing to be a parent but not being able to have children. That’s why it’s important to learn to handle disappointments in a healthy, biblical way now while you are young.

While disappointments will come on a larger scale, the ones you are facing now mean just as much to you in this moment. They also share the same root cause—trust and contentment.

When we don’t get the things we want, we need to trust that God loves us and knows what is best for us. He has sovereignly ordained everything about us and in our lives. Acts 17:26–27 says, “And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us.”

God made us the way we are, decided where we would live, how much money we would have, how many people would be in our family, where we would go to school, church, work, and so on. And he didn’t do it arbitrarily—he didn’t roll the dice or draw straws. Our God is not a God of chaos but of order. He did it with an all-wise, all-knowing plan for our lives—and that plan was so we would seek him, find him, and know him as our loving Creator and Savior from our sins. And once we know him in that way, everything else in our lives is planned so we would be conformed to the image of his Son. Every yes and no in our life is meant to make us more like Christ. First Thessalonians 4:3 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.” God knows this is what’s best for us and will ultimately bring us the most joy.

Knowing and trusting God will then help us practice contentment. Contentment is being joyfully and thankfully at peace with any circumstance we find ourselves in—not because every circumstance is pleasant or preferable, but because the One who placed us there is loving, good, and trustworthy. When we believe those things about God, then we can be content with whatever blessing comes from or is withheld from his hand and know that he still loves us.

I love you. Grow in godliness and in your love for God.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/letters-to-my-children-facing-disappointment/

Letters to My Children: Time Capsule

To My Children:

I am writing this letter for you to read in fifty years. I hope I can be there, but if not, know that I am rejoicing with Jesus. As I write this, I’m wondering what you will be like and what you will be doing. I hope you are healthy and happy in life—I think all good parents wish that for their kids—but there are a few things I pray for even more than those.

I pray you have put your faith in Jesus and are following him. Jesus said to his original twelve disciples, “Follow me,” and they left everything and went after him. He told them that whoever left houses or lands, mothers, sisters, or brothers for him would receive a hundredfold and inherit eternal life. I hope you have found following Jesus is worth giving up everything for and that you have been following him closely all these years. If you haven’t, then now is the perfect time. As Charles Spurgeon said, “When sin is pardoned, our greatest sorrow is ended, and our truest pleasure begins.” That pleasure can begin now by repenting of your sins and asking Jesus to save you. Tomorrow is not promised, but right now is not too late. Choose to walk with Jesus daily through studying his Word and obeying his will for your life.

If you are following Jesus, I pray you are looking to him to be the perfecter of your faith. I’m sure a lot of hard things have happened in your life. You may have a lot of pain, anxieties, regret, or a sin you still can’t seem to beat after all these years. Are you looking to Christ for healing, trusting that he is working all things for your good? Are you casting your burdens on him, trusting in his Word which says he will sustain you? Are you resting in his grace that already paid for your sins so that you can be free from shame and regret? Are you looking to him for the strength to overcome that sin, trusting that he who began the good work of your salvation will bring it to completion? Or are you trying to do it all yourself? Look to Jesus, knowing that the One who began your faith is the One who will keep you going in the faith, perfect your faith, and keep you till the end.

I pray you are sharing the good news of Jesus with others. God may have blessed you with children. You may even have grandchildren! (I hope I get the joy of knowing them!) Have you told them about Jesus? Do they know the same hope you have? Or are they floundering around in the ocean of life without a lifejacket? Don’t withhold the life preserver from them just because it might disrupt the pleasantries between you. If you don’t tell them about Jesus, you are leaving them to fend for themselves in this broken world and ultimately to die. If you love them, tell them about the only One who can save their life. If you’ve told them, leave the results up to God, remain steadfast in prayer, and continue to live by example. 

Above all, remember God’s unceasing love for you. I love you too—I write these things to you that you may know you have eternal life. If there is one thing I want you to know after all these years, it’s that.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/letters-to-my-children-time-capsule/

Be Imitators

When I was young, I had a toy bubble push-mower. I was only maybe eighteen months old, but I took great joy in imitating my dad pushing his giant red mower up and down our yard. I was intrigued by the iridescent orbs shooting out of my mower while also feeling great pride in being just like my dad.

Similarly, I used to be allowed to watch my dad while he weight-lifted in our home gym. It fascinated me as a four- or five-year-old to see him bench-press 250-pound barbells as he listened to records on the record player. When I got old enough to safely lift weights, he took me to the gym and taught me proper technique. To this day in my 40s, I still love lifting weights and do it three to five times a week. By imitating him, I gained a lifelong love of fitness.

It is natural for us to want to imitate our parents, but as believers we are to imitate our heavenly Father. The apostle Paul says, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1).

In order to imitate God, we must be near him and spend time with him. We do this through reading his Word, spending time in prayer, and hearing the Word preached. His Word is the only way we can know what he is like and, therefore, what we are to imitate.

In the previous verse (Ephesians 4:32), Paul gives us some things we are to imitate. He says to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and to forgive one another just as God in Christ forgave us. We are to do things the way God does.

We are to be kind. Our earthly parents will not be the perfect people for us to imitate no matter how good they are. God says that even evil parents would not give their child a serpent if they asked for a fish or a scorpion if they asked for an egg (Luke 11:11–13). How much more will our heavenly Father be kind to us when we ask him for something! We are to imitate his kindness.

We are to be forgiving. Jesus says we are to forgive people not just once, twice, or seven times but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21–22). The Bible teaches in numerous places that we should forgive others because we have been forgiven so much. We are the unforgiving servant in Jesus’ parable (Matthew 18:23–35) who was forgiven an exponential amount of debt and should therefore offer that same mercy to those who owe us a debt. We are to imitate God’s forgiveness.

Most of all, we are to imitate God’s love. Paul says that showing love is the most important thing in all we do. “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1–3).

The apostle John says that God loved us by sending his Son, Jesus, to be the propitiation for our sins, and that “if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11). Because we can see God’s love for us clearly demonstrated in the sacrifice Christ made on the cross in our place, we know how we are to love others—sacrificially. As we strive to imitate our good and loving God, we must “walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:2). “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Let us be imitators of that love.

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/be-imitators/

Flashback Friday – Biblical Parenting

Dr. Spock. Neuropsychology. Behavior modification. Brain science. Energy profiling. What do all these have in common? They are all methods and advice on child-rearing.

With the plethora of books, blogs, and methods on parenting out there, how are we to determine what is right? 

With so many thoughts on what parenting IS, it may be best to look at what parenting is NOT. 

But the only handbook we will need is the Bible because it is the inspired, infallible, inerrant, sufficient word of the God who created us and all of our children. 

Biblical parenting is NOT . . .

1) convenient. 

Kind of makes parenting sound like a real downer right off the bat, right? But I’m afraid too many parents want to pawn off the responsibility of raising their kids onto somebody else:

Daycare, babysitter, grandma/grandpa, youth pastor, children’s church worker.

Too many parents who wanted to have kids now place them under the watch-care and teaching of someone else for eight or more hours a day (and that’s not including extracurricular activities). 

So should we shut down all day cares, schools, and youth groups? Not if they are being used with the right motives in mind. But the primary responsibility of raising and teaching kids belongs to the parents. 

One out of only two commands in the Bible about parenting says that fathers should not provoke their children to anger but “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). 

In all his wisdom, Solomon instructed parents to train up a child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). 

Even as far back as Moses’ time, we are told to diligently teach our children the commands of the Lord at all times (Deuteronomy 6:7). 

And this is certainly not always convenient. You may have to coach a child through a tantrum in the middle of cooking dinner. You may have to break up a sibling fight right as you just sat down to enjoy that cup of coffee and rest your aching feet. You may have to prayerfully prioritize how much time you are away from the home in order to be the one to guide them through the issues of life. Our children should always be our number one priority over personal pursuits or “me time.” And they are always worth it. 

2) relative. 

In our post-modern, humanistic society, truth is viewed as relative. What holds true for one person may not be what another person sees as true, and we are not supposed to tell anyone they are wrong. 

The view that there are no absolutes has bled over into our parenting. Religion, gender, sexual preference, and even math are abstract subjects now. One of the top lines I have heard from other parents is, “I don’t want to force religion on my kid. I want them to explore the different ideas out there and decide for themselves.” 

Children are naturally curious. It is good to let them explore their world and ask questions. But not without guide rails. We wouldn’t allow a train to jump track just because it wants to check out that field over there. Conversely, we don’t have to be “smother-mothers” or helicopter parents to do this. We can’t protect our children from everything; it’s not only undesirable, but impossible. Children are going to get hurt. They are going to make mistakes. 

But while it is good to use a child’s mistakes as teaching moments to help them learn from them, it is quite different to let a child make all their own choices and be their own moral compass. 

The Bible teaches that when left to ourselves, no one chooses what is right (Romans 3:12) and that our hearts can’t be trusted (Jeremiah 17:9). Likewise, King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived (with the exception of Christ), says that so often what we think is right actually leads to our destruction (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) and that foolishness is bound up in the hearts of children (Proverbs 22:15). Clichés like “Follow your heart” and “let your conscience be your guide” are very poor advice.

In contrast to this, the beginning chapters of Proverbs are clear cut about how parents should guide their children in the way they should go, and how the best thing we can do for them is to teach them wisdom. Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10). Within that wisdom, there is wiggle room for different methods and preferences of child-rearing: Vaccines or no vaccines? Organic or non-organic? Piano or sports? No screen time or limited amounts? Homeschool or public school? 

But the fear of the Lord which leads to wisdom only comes from knowledge of the Lord and his ways, which only comes from God’s Word. And there is nothing abstract or relative about that. 

3) all about your child’s happiness. 

Like most parents, we want what is best for our children. I hear so many parents say things like, “I just want my child to be happy” or “healthy” or “successful” in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting those things, even praying for them. The problem lies in our definition of happiness and success. 

For most parents, the best possible future we can imagine for our children would be to go to a good school, get a high paying career, live the “American dream” of nice houses, cars, vacations, and a cushy retirement, all while being a polite, good citizen. That doesn’t sound like a horrible life, does it? 

While that lifestyle certainly comes with many perks, it falls far short of what God defines as a happy and successful life. 

In God’s counter-cultural, perfect wisdom, he tells us that a successful, long, and peaceful life comes from following his commandments (Proverbs 3:1-4). Riches, honor, and happiness come from gaining wisdom (Proverbs 3:13-17). Wisdom begins with the knowledge and fear of the Lord, remember? 

Parents are to bring their children up to know the Lord, even if it is not popular, gets balked at, or is downright ignored or rebelled against. Pointing our children to the Lord involves telling them that they are great sinners, but that Christ is the great Savior. 

Sometimes our children are not going to agree that their happiness is found here. Our culture is going to flat-out denounce this idea as being “too restrictive” or antiquated. But if we believe God, then we know that the best thing for our children is not their temporal happiness, but their holiness. And a holy life only comes from the grace of God through faith in his Son, Jesus Christ. 

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/tips-from-the-must-have-parenting-handbook/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3hiRnk3k1q8EQ9EdI1orcPnYfz8joc1VRjVD3WzVYYhWE1yiL2AHwPmr8_aem_J9TnnKjAceFGmHAtT9on0A

Childlike Faith

Every morning for the past two weeks I’ve been able to sit on my front porch, drink my coffee while reading my devotional and Bible, and watch a tiny family of birds in their nest. The nest is no bigger than the palm of my hand, tucked away in the corner where porch column meets roof, where the mama bird wisely built it to be protected from wind and rain.

Each morning, she flutters onto my strand of porchlights and then hops over to her eagerly awaiting little ones. The instant she lands, six tiny heads pop up from their hiding place and stretch out their soft, fuzzy necks. Each one cranes as tall as it can get while chirping loudly for mom’s attention. They open their beaks wide, and mom fills each one with sustenance in turn.

In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it” (Mark 10:15).

We are to come to God in childlike faith.

Childlike faith is dependent. Those tiny birds waiting for their mother to bring food each morning are utterly helpless without her. If she doesn’t bring her discovery of bugs and worms back to the nest and place it in their mouths, they will starve. Our faith in God must be dependent like that. We are dependent on Christ—that his death on the cross satisfied every requirement for our salvation from sin. Without him, we are woefully helpless to save ourselves (Ephesians 2:1–9). We are also dependent on him every day to give us what we need—our food, our clothing, every breath we take, and everything we need to be spiritually sustained from his Word (Acts 17:25; 2 Peter 1:3).

Childlike faith is receiving. Baby birds open their beaks expecting to receive something. Their mouths are empty; they long to be filled. But they have nothing to fill it with on their own, so they must open wide to receive from their mother. In the same way, we must come to God empty-handed but expecting to receive. Isaiah 55:1 says, “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.” We come knowing we have nothing to offer, nothing to purchase our way into the kingdom. We only have empty, sin-stained hands that God can cleanse and fill by his grace through the gift he gives us of redemption and faith in Christ. We can come expectantly, knowing that God says if we ask, we will receive, and anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (Matthew 7:7–8; Romans 10:13). Those who hope in him will not be put to shame (Romans 5:5, 10:11).

Childlike faith is active. We are dependent on God for everything, and we receive entrance into his kingdom only because of his sovereign grace, but once we are in the kingdom, we are not to be lazy. If one of those baby birds decided they were not going to open up when mama bird came around with their meal, they would die. Even if just by instinct, the baby bird wants to grow and become strong. We too should want to grow in our faith. Being childlike does not mean that we avoid the hard work of being a Christian, such as daily Bible reading and prayer or taking steps to kill our sinful impulses and habits. It does not mean that we avoid learning more about God and his Word by skipping Sunday morning sermons, Bible study, or hard-to-understand passages in the Bible. We are to stay dependent on God for our daily needs in all things, spiritually and physically, but we are not to be passive in our growth or remain simple-minded in our understanding of God’s Word. We should not long to stay children, being tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine, but should strive to grow in maturity till we reach the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4:13–14).

So as you come to God’s kingdom, come humbly and open-handed expecting to receive what you could not earn—grace upon grace, the forgiveness of your sins, and life everlasting. But also come expecting to grow, to learn, and to be changed, laboring with all his energy that he powerfully works in us (Colossians 1:28–29).

The previous article was originally published at https://lifeword.org/blog/childlike-faith/